Friday 3 June 2011

Things Every Future Mogul Wishes Her Smartphone To Do

Purpose of life GPS: We’ve all been there. Call it confusion, a crisis of faith, what-have-you; but the road to moguldom can be rocky and full of questions, so wouldn’t it be great to have a fool-proof navigation system that not only gave you your life’s purpose but exact steps on how to achieve it – by quarter!? Less mystery, more more time, faster pot-of-gold access. Come on, you know you want this one.
#2 – Happily Ever After App – “an app that can find my perfect man and then set us up on a date”: Long exec or entrepreneurial hours, graduate studies and any other mogul-ish curricular activities may not leave much time for finding Prince Charming. Well, worry no more with the Happily Ever After App. Simply program your criteria, and the app magically brings finds “the one” and schedules the perfect date at the perfect time and ensures the perfect progression of the relationship. Call it, location meets navigation meets the Love Connection. The developer who perfects this would have more chips than even Zuckerberg, no?


Rechargeable Life Battery (to be refueled upon charge:) This is a popular one. Today’s diva is on the move and on the run. Who has time to stop and recharge, let alone remembering to bring an actual charger? Picture it, you’re just in the middle of negotiating that killer deal or getting the sales person to set aside the last pair of Louboutins in your size, and the phone runs out of energy. But if the device was actually capable of recharging itself, this is no longer a problem. It keeps going and going and going and going….

Jokers Weed-Out App: You know you’ve experienced this one before as you build your networking circle. Time spent on a business or personal acquaintance only to find out he/she is not really who he/she purports to be, is not serious or is otherwise incapable of being at the same level you are i.e. a joker. Waste no more time as this app would give off a subtle color alert similar to good old Frodo’s sword in Lord of the Rings when the Orcs are near. Life is just too challenging to deal with people who aren’t genuine. Get rid of them easily and accurately with the purchase of this magical app. Beware all jokers, early detection is here!


Perfect credit score app: ah, another perfect one particularly for African-American female moguls-in-training who just may be a bit sidetracked due to the double-digital unemployment rates affecting our demo. It’s simple Econ 101 that if the expenses equal more than the income, there is going to be trouble; and low credit scores can be a pesky thing on the road to success by virtue of the fact that the negative elements follow you around for at least 7 years. Get rid of them like Raid with the app that supernaturally goes behind the back-end of TransUnion and all those annoying organizations to fix your credit and help you out. Hey, a girl’s gotta have some kind of advantage out here, right?

Be on the internet while you’re on the phone..why only has AT&T mastered that?: That’s the question from another mogul, and a good one. Maybe you need to search something while you are on a pitch call that you didn’t anticipate? Yikes. Note to other carriers, this may not be such a tall magical wish after all, considering it’s already happening with your competitor

I wish my Smartphone was so smart that it did what I MEANT and not what I asked: Ah, those darn touch-screens. Sensitive and with a millimeter’s edge a wrong key is touched and precious milliseconds wasted for today’s busy diva. Yes, read my mind, Phone. It just may not be too much to ask. Talk about bio-engineering. Probably will have to come with a chip to be installed into the head via your local physician. Think of it as the ultimate bluetooth type of connection.

CEO search: So, you have the perfect idea for the perfect brand. Who wants to deal with the peons below the top? If you could just get to that CEO, it’s on. Thing is, his secretary filters all the calls to his office, and you want direct access. Voila. There’s an app for that! Think of it as an exclusive Yellow Pages on steroids. Just say the name into the phone and the private number of said-CEO pops up. Just remember that once you call, the reaction from said-CEO could probably not be controlled by this feature.

Auto bounce-back: Nothing ruins a mogul’s day more than going through her emails on her phone only to encounter ones that bring her down. Worry no more. With auto bounce-back, the phone intuitively knows which emails you might find disturbing, disappointing or otherwise negative; and just simply sends them right back to the originator before they even reach you. Keep that negative energy away so you can keep your vibe right.

No comments:

Post a Comment